Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman


“Bringing Up Bébé,” written by Pamela Druckerman, explores the differences in parenting styles and approaches between French and American cultures. The author, an American journalist living in France, observes the French parenting philosophy and contrasts it with the more intensive and child-centric approach often found in the United States.

Druckerman delves into various aspects of French parenting, including sleep training, feeding habits, discipline, and fostering independence. She highlights how French parents emphasize the importance of establishing routines and boundaries, encouraging self-sufficiency, and allowing children to develop patience and adaptability.

The book also discusses the French concept of “cadre” – a structured framework that provides children with a sense of security and discipline, allowing for more freedom within those boundaries. Druckerman’s observations underscore how this approach contributes to well-behaved, self-reliant, and well-adjusted children in French culture.

10 Key Takeaways from Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman:

  • Embrace Routine: French parents emphasize establishing daily routines to provide children with a sense of security and predictability. Consistent schedules for meals, naps, and bedtime help children feel comfortable and well-regulated.
  • Delayed Gratification: French parenting encourages teaching children patience and the ability to wait. This practice helps children develop self-control and manage their impulses, contributing to better behavior and emotional regulation.
  • Cultivate Independence: French parents prioritize fostering independence in children. They encourage children to explore, problem-solve, and make choices within appropriate boundaries, allowing them to develop self-confidence and decision-making skills.
  • “Cadre” or Framework: The concept of “cadre” involves providing a structured framework within which children can thrive. This approach sets clear boundaries while allowing children a degree of freedom and autonomy, contributing to a balanced and disciplined upbringing.
  • Respect Mealtime: French parents emphasize the importance of teaching children proper table manners and respecting mealtime. Children are expected to sit through meals, try a variety of foods, and engage in conversations.
  • Sleep Training: The French approach to sleep training involves encouraging babies to sleep through the night at an earlier age. Consistent sleep routines and allowing babies to self-soothe contribute to better sleep habits.
  • Balanced Authority: French parents maintain an authoritative parenting style that balances nurturing with setting boundaries. This approach allows children to understand the limits while feeling secure and loved.
  • Parental “Me” Time: French parents prioritize their own well-being and maintain their own interests even after becoming parents. This serves as a positive role model for children and contributes to parents’ overall happiness.
  • A Calm Approach to Discipline: French parents employ a calm and firm approach to discipline, focusing on teaching children the consequences of their actions rather than resorting to punishments. This approach promotes understanding and responsibility.
  • Parental Unity: French parents prioritize presenting a united front in parenting decisions. Consistent messaging from both parents helps children understand the boundaries and expectations set for them.


“Bringing Up Bébé” provides a thought-provoking exploration of French parenting practices compared to those in the United States. Through routines, delayed gratification, and fostering independence within clear boundaries, French parents cultivate self-sufficient and well-adjusted children. This comparative analysis encourages readers to reconsider their own parenting approaches and consider the benefits of balancing structure and autonomy. Ultimately, the book offers insights into creating a nurturing environment that promotes resilience, patience, and independence in children while emphasizing the value of parental self-care.



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